Plot Bunnies Attack!
by DestanyMitchell and Rockerbabe
Summary: A humor fic wrote by both Destany Mitchell and Rockerbabe. It's a fic of...randomness. Better known as: Plot Bunnies
1. The Beginnings

**Disclaimer:** The lyrics to Dance, Dance aren't correct, but they belong to Fall Out Boy. The terms 'Plot Bunnies Attack' belong to my sister's brother, Dell.

**Authors' Note**: We originally started this fic per request on the DLS Forum. RB and myself wrote a different humor fic (When the Lights Go Out) and we were asked to write another. We bounced ideas and came up with nothing consisted...except for some random ideas we had floating around and thus, Plot Bunnies was/were created. We updated sporatically and after a couple month hiatus decided to resurrect Plot Bunnies into another ficlet called: Plot Bunnies Rides Again (which will also be posted on this site, but RB has chapter 1 of that and I have chapter 2 and a bit more that we wrote to it). We both stress that this fic is nothing but randomness and probably will make no sense whatsoever. It's suppose to be for fun...thus, a humor fic. I hope you guys get a couple chuckles along the way.

* * *

**When Plot Bunnies Attack  
Chapter 1  
The Beginning**

"Tommy, I'm pregnant."

"Wha---Wai---Huh?"

"I'm pregnant."

"I got that! But—how!"

"Well, when a sperm fertilizes an egg…"

"Kat! We never slept together!"

"I know, but I never said you were the father. I just said that I was pregnant." Tom Quincy raised his eyes heavenward.

That's the last time I let Jude allow her friends in the studio. Kat Benton grinned and laughed, enjoying screwing with Tommy. It was the best way to start the day.

Jude Harrison entered the studio to see Kat laughing her ass off and Tommy rolling his eyes.

"What did I miss?" she asked.

"You don't want to know." Tommy groaned.

"Tommy's too uptight." Kat replied,

"He needs to get some."

"And Kat doesn't." Tommy fired back.

"Uh…ookay…" Jude looked positively scared, "Right. Moving on. I'm ready to record that song now."

"Good." Tommy stood up and tapped the Plexiglas that separated the recording booth and the mixing booth, signaling to Kwest to get ready to record, then turned to Jude, "You're up, girl." Jude stepped up to the mic and put on the earphones.

Just when she opened her mouth to sing, Speed and Co. of Spiedermen Mind Explosion entered the room, singing loud and proud.

"Ted's pants! Are falling apart for the twelfth time! Ted's Pants! And this is the whale you want to eat---!" Tommy threw his hands up in the air and returned his gaze upward.

"Why are you punishing me!" he cried. Then a deep manly voice replied,

"Because you want to get down with a minor!" Tommy's brows furrowed and his gaze was instantly drawn to Kat, who was laughing again. Jude turned to SME and frowned.

"You do realize the lyrics are: 'Dance, Dance. We're falling apart to half time. Dance, Dance. And these are the lives you'd love to lead.'"

"Yes, but the other way sounds so much better." Speed replied. It was then Tommy looked at the teen and realized he was wearing Jude's space prostitute wig.

"Alright! Everybody out! Out of my studio! Right now!" he cried, pointing to the door.

"Even me?" Jude pouted. Tommy sighed. She looked so cute that he didn't want to see her go, but…

"Jude, for my sanity, please go." Jude continued to pout.

"I'll get you back for this."

"I'm sure you will and until then, I'll wait in suspense." The group filed out of the door and Jude yanked the blond wig off of Speed's head and walked over to Tommy and placed it on his head. She then slapped him on the ass and ran out of the room. Tommy stared after her and sighed. This is going to be a long day… And for our hero, it was only going to get longer…


	2. An Idea

**Destany's Notes**: Pretty much, these ideas come from us talking about instant star and our stories and then we start to make fun of the plot line and say "wouldn't it be amusing if this happened..." and thus the start of all kinds of insanity. Most of the ideas come from us talking in the car on the way to a. Taco Bell or b. The movie theatre. RB says we need to start recording our conversations and I tell her we don't need to document to the world our insanity. She feels there needs to be more people as amusing as we are in the world (heck, we amuse ourselves 90 of the time!) and I say we'd all be screwed if there were. How we're friends, I don't know...I guess opposites really do attract... Anyway, enough about the coming up with the insanity, I just thought it would be nice to have some back story on where and how we come up with our humor fic ideas. Enjoy Chapter 2!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Jude and the gang left the studio as Kwest walked in. Kwest glanced at Tommy and balked at the sight of the blonde wig on his best friends head.

"Tommy?"

"It's been a long morning." Tommy said, taking the wig off his head and tossing it in a random direction.

"Where's Jude going?"

"I kicked them out." Kwest raised an eyebrow in question.

"Why?"

"It's been a long morning."

"Care to fill me in?" Kwest asked, sitting down next to Tommy and perking up in interest.

"It all started with Kat telling me she was pregnant"

"Whoa, back up." Kwest said, holding up a hand in warning.

"Kat's pregnant!"

"I don't think so…" Tommy said, frowning.

"I don't know, who knows with that girl."

"And you're…"

"No! Geeze Kwest, what kind of guy do you think I am?" Kwest went to open his mouth but Tommy cut him off. "Don't answer that."

"Hey, I'm not the one who wants to get it on with a minor." Tommy threw up his arms in a sign of exasperation.

"I do not"

"De-nial," Kwest said in a sing-song voice. Tommy just stared blankly at his best friend.

"Out!"

"You can't kick me out! You need me!"

"I don't need you now out!"

"Yes you do, I'm our sound tech."

"I can always replace you with the guy with the freakishly long hair…" (i.e. guy in the studio in Hey Sister, check out the caps!) Tommy said, smirking and grabbed Kwest by the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards the door.

"OK, OK, I'm going…geeze." Kwest said as Tommy shoved him out the door and closed it, and locked it, behind him. Tommy leaned against the door and sighed. It was going to be a long day.

Kwest turned away from the door and turned to face the couch that Jude, Speed, Kyle, Wally, Kat, and Jamie were all seated on. Jude was sitting on Speeds lap, Kat in Jamie's to make the group all fit on the same sofa.

"Well?"

"Someone's pissy this morning," Kwest grumbled and sat down on top of Wally, realized where he was and leaped off the couch.

"Sorry man." Kwest said and Wally waved nonchalantly.

"So, now what are we going to do?" Jude asked, feeling bored. Speed leaped up from the couch, spilling Jude on the floor.

"I got an idea!" He proclaimed. Everyone stared at each other. When Speed got an idea, it was never a good sign.


	3. Go Fish

**Chapter 3**

The room fell into a dark silence. The moment was tense as they waited for the two words to spoken. Speed growled in anger as he heard the dreaded words:

"Go Fish!"

"Damn it!" he yelled, throwing down his cards and crossing his arms over his chest, "I'm not doing it!"

"That's the rules, Speed!" Kat cried, "If the person doesn't have your cards, you have to 'Go Fish', you have to strip. So, STRIP!" Speed pouted.

"It's not fair! All I have left is my boxers!"

"Mmm." Jude said dreamily, "But those are the rules. Off with your clothes!"

"Nope, Nope, Nope, Not doing it!" Speed protested, "And you can't make me."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

A few minutes later, Tommy found the group and looked at them in shock. Jude was wearing her bra and pants, Kwest wasn't wearing any pants, Jamie, Wally, and Kyle weren't wearing shirts, Kat was fully dressed, and Speed was only covered by his baseball hat. Tommy's eyes went wide.

"What. The. Fresh. Hell?"

"Strip Go Fish." Kat said cheekily, "Care to join us?"

"Uh…I'll pass."

"C'mon, man." Kwest insisted, "It's fun."

"Uh…no."

"Please?" Jude pouted and Tommy felt his resolve crumble. The man sighed and whipped off his jacket and t-shirt. Jude and Kat cheered and whistled. Tommy sat down and Jamie dealt him in.

"New boy starts!" Speed declared.

"Seeing as you have nothing left to lose…" Jude said with a wink,

"Good call!" So, as time went on, the game was drawing to a close. Kat was still winning, still fully clothed. Jude was in her bra and panties. Kwest, Wally, Kyle, Jamie, and Tommy were all down to their boxers. Speed, who had technically went out hours before, was cat-calling and making obscene offers to everyone. The next person who was naked would end the game. And, of course, Speed protested loudly.

"This isn't fair!" he cried, "The moment I was naked, the game should've stopped!"

"You're missing the point." Jude said casually, laying down a matching pair.

"Yeah." Kat added, laying down her pair, "Our goal was to get you naked, then make you sit there was long as we could…but now we're going to see who the next sucker is."

"How come whoever's next is only going to get naked for a minute and I've been naked for…three hours?"

"Because you're an idiot." Kwest said. Speed began to protest again and everyone ignored him the best they could. The last hand had been dealt and it was anybody's call to who would be the next loser. And the loser was Tommy.

"Whoo! Show us your goodies!" Kat cried as Tommy threw down his cards in disgust.

"Guys have goodies?" Wally mused out loud.

"Shut up!" Kat replied, good naturedly, "You get the point." Tommy sighed and raised his eyes to the ceiling. Merde! Jude giggled manically and everyone looked at her.

"Oh sorry…thinking dirty thoughts." She said with a smile as she fanned herself, "Come on, Frenchy, take it off!"

Will this day never end! Tommy wondered with a sigh. Speed cleared his throat and everyone glanced at him. He had found his pants and put them back on and his Scooby-Doo boxers were on the outside of his pants. Acting like nothing was out of the ordinary, he spoke up.

"Seeing as I'm not one to get my jollies from seeing Quincy's wang, I have a better idea."

"No!" Jude said adamantly, "Seeing Quincy wang is a good thing."

"Stop talking about my wang!" Tommy cried, "I'm still right here!"

"No, I agree with Speed." Jamie said looking over at his friend, "What's your idea?" Speed smiled evilly and Jamie began to think twice about agreeing with him…


	4. Truth or Dare

**A/N:** Ok guys, I just want to say, the majority of this madness stems from my brain only. RB only helped me come up with some ideas for some events. You'll see in the fic, but pretty much, it's all my doing, especially the ending. I hope you guys like it!

**Chapter 4**

Speed smiled evily at the group and Jamie deadpanned in a look of pure horror. I should know better than to agree with Vince Speiderman...Jamie thought. Speed assessed the group in concentration. His eyes looked at each one, a look of pure thoughtfulness filling the normally mischievous blue (?) eyes.

"Kat." Kat looked at Speed in a look of pure horror. "Truth. Or. Dare?" Speed asked, drawing out the question. Kat looked worried and everyone perked up in interest.

"Truth?" She said, her voice uncertain. Speed grinned evily.

"Where is the most unusual place you've ever had sex?" Speed asked.

"Who says I have?" Kat asked, her voice sing-song. Everyone in the room looked at Jamie who's face was red in embarrassment.

"JAMIE!"

"What! It was guys night!" Jamie yelled in his own defense. "It's not like you haven't told Jude!" Jamie argued.

"Answer the question!" Kyle yelled, looking intrigued. Kat sighed. "On top of the kitchen counter."

"And where was this kitchen counter?" Wally asked. Kat pointed at the counter top Jude and Tommy were currently sitting on. The couple glanced at each other. Tommy shuddered.

"Is there a way I can move quickly without betraying my cool exterior?" Tommy asked.

"No." Jude whimpered.

"Just checking." Tommy stated before leaping away from the counter and shuddering visibly. Jude followed suit. Kat looked apologetically at Jude and Tommy.

"Remind me to never ever go near that counter…" Tommy muttered as Kat surveyed the group for her next victim.

"Kyle," Kyle deadpanned.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Kyle said, looking unfazed. Speed and Wally whooped and cheered their friend on. Jude and Jamie winced, knowing full well the viciousness Kat could pull. Kat smiled sweetly.

"A lap dance." Kat said, smirking. Kyle looked smug.

"Sounds good."

"to Jamie."

"WHAT!" both boys yelled. Everyone else in the room burst into laughter.

"That's what you get for telling about our sex life hon." Kat said sweetly.

"But, you can't lap dance without music!" Kyle argued. Tommy and Kwest looked at each other and back at Kyle.

"Uh, Kyle…this room is full of musicians." Jude said, smirking.

"Shit." Kyle said, deadpanning.

"Hey Kwest…" Tommy said, grinning mischievously.

"Yeah T?"

"Remember those tracks we did earlier?" Tommy asked, eyes glittering in amusement. Kwest began to laugh.

"Oh yeah, perfect!" The engineer said, laughing. Tommy grinned and got up.

"Be right back guys!" He said, leaving the group and disappearing in studio A. Moments later, a seductive beat played over the loudspeaker of G Records.

"Whoo!" The girls cheered Kyle on. Jamie looked disturbed and Kyle sighed and shimmied over to his friend.

"Sorry man." Kyle said, looking horrified, and shaking his hips in a seductive way. Tommy returned, laughing at the pair and everyone else watched in sick fascination. Moments later, Sadie entered the studio. She stopped at the sight of Kyle and Jamie.

"I always knew Jamie was gay." She said with a sigh.

"I AM NOT GAY!" Jamie yelled. The music sequence ended and Kyle was able to stop his dance. "OH THANK GOD!" Jamie and Kyle yelled. Kat and Jude looked at each other, grinning evilly.

"I don't know…" Kat said, "they looked kinda cute together." Jude nodded in agreement.

"What are you guys up to?" Sadie asked, surveying the group.

"Truth or Dare. Wanna join?" Kwest asked, grinning seductively at Sadie. Sadie shrugged.

"Why not." She said, sitting in the circle. Kyle sighed and surveyed the group, staring at each a long moment.

"Sadie, you're new to the madness…" Kyle said, smirking.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Truth." Sadie said, smirking. "Is it true that you were caught making out with Kwest in the janitor's closet?" Kyle asked, and added "while you were dating Little Tommy Q?" Tommy's eyes widened and he looked over at Sadie. Irony coming to both of their minds. Everyone waited for Sadie to answer.

"No." Sadie said, matter-of-fact. Kwest looked relieved. Tommy wouldn't be killing him today. "It was the conference room." She stated and Tommy threw his arms up in exasperation.

"I'm not going to comment…" Tommy said, eyes darkening and Kwest smiled sheepishly at Tommy.

"Sorry man, but"

"I don't want to hear it." Tommy snapped. Jude patted Tommy on the shoulder. Sadie sighed and looked around the group, choosing her victim.

"Quincy, Truth or dare?" She asked, staring Tommy in the eyes.

"I don't trust you with a dare, so I'm going with truth." Tommy stated, eyes narrowing.

"I want to know the full story behind that rumor about you being arrested for being naked in the streets of Cleveland during the Boyz Attack tour." She said, smirking. Tommy laughed and shrugged. Everyone looked confused.

"That was a good tour…" Tommy said, grinning nostalgically. "Well, it all started after the concert and we went back to the tour bus with a few fan girls; and well, drinks were consumed"

"Weren't you guys only 19?" Wally asked.

"Legal in Canada…" Tommy reasoned with a shrug.

"But you weren't in Canada." Jude stated. Tommy shrugged.

"Legal in Canada!" He argued, and continued on with the story.

"Anyway, we got a little buzzed and the guys started a ToD game…which I wanted no part of, but was pulled into it anyway." Tommy stated, grinning at the memory.

"So, we get going with the game, nothing too wild and then Chaz came up with this crazy ass dare that one of us should go outside the tour bus and run around naked…" Tommy said, frowning. "There was a reason for that at the time…I can't remember it though…" Tommy muttered, looking thoughtful.

"Anyway, Chaz had the bright idea to have the girls choose…" Tommy added, rolling his eyes.

"So they picked you?" Jude asked.

"No, actually they picked Bruno." Tommy stated, frowning.

"So how did you…?" Jamie asked, looking confused.

"Bruno chickened out. He stripped down to his boxers and couldn't bring himself to do it, so I, in my drunken state, decided to be the smart one and do it." Tommy added, frowning.

"Smart one?" Speed asked.

"Sounds kind of stupid to me." Tommy shrugged.

"After 5 beers and concert high…you don't really give a shit what you do." Tommy stated and Wally nodded in agreement. They all stared at Wally quizzically.

"Don't ask." Wally said.

"Not going to." Tommy said, looking disturbed. "Any-way…that's how I ended up naked, locked outside of the tour bus at 2 am." Tommy summed.

"Nice." Kyle commented. Tommy shrugged.

"All in a days work." Tommy stated and sighed, pinning out his victim.

"Wally, your turn." Tommy said, grinning.

"You didn't ask the question!"

"Seems redundant." Tommy admitted.

"Soo..what's your flavor?" He asked.

"Uhhhh…Truth?" Tommy sighs.

"What's the craziest thing you've ever done?" Tommy asked, knowing how quiet the guitarist usually was.

"Locked outside naked at 2 am…"

"Haha!" Tommy said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

"Answer the question!" Sadie yelled, looking annoyed.

"Ummm…hhhmm, craziest thing…" Wally said, looking thoughtful.

"Sex tape."

"WHAT!" Everyone said in unision.

"What, I was young and needed the money!" Wally argued.

"But you're only 17!" Kwest yelled, paling.

"So? I needed the money." Wally insisted. Tommy shudders. Kat got up from her seat and walked over to the computer.

"Kat? Where are you going?" Jamie asked. "I'm going to do some research." She said, matter-of-factly. "Jude, you coming?" She asked.

"NO, I think I'll pass." Jude said. Sadie leaped up from her chair.

"I will!" She yelled enthusiastically and both girls ran off to Tommy's office. Tommy watched them, paling.

"Damn it! Don't look that up on my computer!" Tommy yelled after them.

The girls turned around and smiled sweetly before going into the office.

Tommy let out a creative string of curse words in French and sighed in defeat. Jude looked proud of herself.

"I caught Merde!" She said, beaming. Tommy stared at her and shook his head.

"OK, Jude!" Wally said, staring at his lead singer.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare." She said without hesitation.

Wally grinned evilly and looked back and forth between Tommy and Jude, who were sitting closer together than friends ever would.

"Jude, I want you to go to Darius's office." Wally said, pausing.

"That's it?" She asked, looking smug.

"Not all of it. Tommy, you're going with her." Wally said, matter-of-fact. Tommy looked at Jude, this cannot be good. "And you're going to make out on Darius's desk."

Tommy and Jude looked at each other a moment, shrugged, and got up off the couch and walked off to Darius's office. The gang got up and followed the couple, as if they were getting a free show. Tommy opened Darius's office and Stopped in horror. Jude's jaw dropped at the sight before her eyes and no one could look away in sick fascination.

Standing before them were Darius and Liam. Darius wearing the blonde wig that had previously been on Tommy's head. The pair were locked in an intimate embrace and were doing things that would only be featured in one of Rockerbabe's fics. Tommy and Jude spun around and shut the door both of them pale and looking like they were going to be sick.

"Oh. My." Jude said, and Tommy nodded.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Tommy said, paling further. Tommy and Jude shuffled away from the door as everyone else caught up.

"HEY! Aren't you guys suppose to be making out right about now?" Kwest asked.

Tommy and Jude both pointed at the door and shuddered in unison. Everyone else glanced at one another and shrugged. They walked towards the door, opened it and all let out a collective scream of horror.


	5. The Mall

**Chapter 5**

Hours had trudged by and boredom had hit our Heroes and Heroines. So, in a moment of brilliance on Sadie's part, they jumped in Tommy's hummer and went to the mall.

Instantly there was chaos, Speed, Wally, and Kyle went running off to god knows where, Kwest and Sadie hit a photo booth and Jamie and Kat…disappeared…in the back of Spencers… Jude sighed and raised her eyes to the ceiling.

Could this day get any weirder?

"Yes, it can." Tommy replied.

"AHH!" She cried, "Are you reading my mind!"

"No, you said that out loud, dumbass."

"Shut up…buttmunch!"

"Clever." Jude punched him in the stomach and started to walk away. Tommy grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"It's not nice to hit boys."

"Since when?"

"Since I deemed it necessary." The pair walked together through the mall and eventually started to assemble their group back. Sadie and Kwest were giggling over the small, black and white strip of pictures, Kat was holding a big bag from Spencers, a small smirk on her face, and Jamie just looked amused. The SME boys were nowhere to be found.

Fearing the worse and the obvious, they headed to Victoria's Secret. The boys were all in the window, feeling up the mannequins. The group stared at them in horror, along with twenty other bystanders, and one security guard with a camera.

Jude, Sadie and Kat rushed into the store and pulled them out of the window and away from…most of mannequins. The rest of the men walked into the store and pretended not to be interested by the skimpy night attire.

Jude lined Wally, Kyle, and Speed up in a row and decked them all.

"God! Grow up!" she cried, "What did you think you were doing?"

"Well…" Speed said, matter-of-factly, "We were trying to find out the Secret of Victoria!"

"Did you figure it out?" Kwest and Tommy chimed in.

"Nope, but give me a few more minutes and I think I'll get it." Speed said, walking further into the store and towards a large display of lacey varieties of panties. Jude sighed.

"Men!" Kwest and Tommy nudged each other and pointed at Kat and Sadie, who were going through a display.

"Women!" they said in unison.

"I'm surrounded by testorone!"

"That's your own fault." Kyle spoke up from behind her, carrying a mannequin.

"Uh, Kyle, put that down before you're arrested." Jude said.

"But—But---" he pouted.

"No. Put. It. Back." Kyle whined and walked away. Tommy laughed as Jude walked away to join her sister and Kat, who were over by the corsets.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Two hours and two hundred dollars later, the group finally left Victoria's Secrets.

Kat, Sadie, and Jude all had bags full of items that the boys were all curious about. Jude's stomach growled, alerting her that food was a necessity.

"Anybody else hungry?" she asked.

"Not everyone's a bottomless pit, like you." Tommy said. Jude's mouth dropped open in an outraged "O" of unhappiness.

"For that, you're buying me lunch." She shoved her Victoria's Secret bags into his arms, grabbed his hand and pulled him away, kicking and complaining.

The rest of the group waved good-bye and hurried off to the book store. In the food court, Jude ordered food from three different stands and footed Tommy with a 30 dollar bill.

He grumbled and complained as he moved around the large pink bags that he had been forced to carry to get to his wallet. After paying, they sat down at a small table and Jude began to eat. She shared some with Tommy, who had started a mild game of footsy under the table.

Jude, who could only concentrate on one thing at a time, focused on eating.

Tommy grumbled in annoyance and stole a few fries from one of her trays. Jude got mad, fully intending on eating everything she ordered, and threw an egg roll at him.

Unfortunately, he caught it and began eating to spite her. Jude promptly chewed her food and stuck out her tongue.

"Sexy." Tommy said, giving her see food in reply.

"Wildly attractive." She replied swallowing her food before she choked. Tommy snorted and smiled at her. Jude felt all girly and smiled back at him. She leaned forward, carefully avoiding putting herself in her food, as he leaned forward as well. They met in the middle of the table, their lips almost touching when:

"HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

A fog horn was pressed by Jude's head and she lost her balance and fell into her trays of food. Tommy rubbed his ears as Jude picked herself up.

Speed laughed insanely between them as the group approached. Jude pouted, unable to get her shirt clean. She kicked Speed in the shin and pushed him away from them.

"Put on one of the tanks you got at Vicky's." Sadie suggested.

"Sounds like the only option." Jude grabbed her bags and headed into the bathroom with Sadie. Kat sat down in Jude's seat and picked at the remnants of the food that wasn't smashed.

"So." Tommy drawled, "Where did you guys go?"

"Well, we went to the bookstore," Kat started, "And we found the pop-up Karma Sutra and…" she dove into a bag and whipped out the book, opened to a page and pulled a tab, "Look! They look like spiders!"

Tommy, unnerved, yanked the book from her hands and closed it. He put it in his lap for "safe" keeping…

"Then:" Wally added, "Kat introduced us all to the wonderful world of smutty romance novels." Tommy looked horrorified.

"Are you gay?"

"Nope, but I'd make the exception…" Tommy jumped to his feet as Jude and Sadie approached the table. Seeing the look of fear/horror/nauseous-ness on Tommy's face, Jude looked over at Wally.

"What did you do to Tommy now?"

"I did nothing." Wally said, "I'm innocent."

"Says the boy with the sex tape." Kat muttered. Tommy grabbed Jude by the hand.

"We're getting out of here. Now."

"What about them?"

"They can hitchhike. Though, I don't know who'd be crazy enough to pick them up." Tommy bolted out of the mall, pulling Jude with him as the group realized what was going on and began yelling:

"Wait for us!"

"Not in this life time!" Tommy yelled back, leaving the mall with Jude laughing like a lunatic.


	6. Discovering Jommy

**Chapter 6**

Jude and Tommy were finally alone. Together. In the dark dark studio. The mood was set, and getting kinda hot when the doors opened. Tommy growled in annoyance as they looked up at Patsy and Mason who had just entered.

"Hey guys!" Mason greeted cheerfully. Tommy growled in response.

"That's kinda sex-ie." Patsy said, eying Tommy cheekily. "I might be getting turned on." She stated and Jude glared at the other woman.

"What's shaking milkshake?" She asked, watching Tommy and Jude get a confused look.

"Nothing." Jude said, pouting in disappointment.

"Hu." Patsy said, not looking convinced. "We know something could get your engine flowing!" She said, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Jude and Tommy glanced at Mason who was nodding enthusiastically.

"You gatta see this Jommy!" He said.

"Jommy!" Tommy and Jude yelled simultaneously.

"Apparently you don't read Fanfiction…" Mason muttered, walking out of the studio.

"OF the smutty kind." Patsy added approvingly.

"Hu?" Tommy and Jude both asked, completely confused.

"Oh come on…you guys seriously haven't heard of message boards!" Patsy said, looking exasperated. Tommy and Jude continued to look confused. Patsy sighed in defeat. "Come on! Let me introduce you to the addition that is the Dirty Little Secret." Patsy practically pranced out of the room and Tommy and Jude shared a worried look before shrugging and following the goth girl to the computers.

Mason was already logged in and cheering and fanning himself with his cowboy hat. Jude and Tommy looked disturbed, but they couldn't help but look at the computer screen in morbid fascination. On the screen was an NC-17 Rated fanfiction about the two of them together.

Jude stared at the words in wonder and fascination. Tommy looked mildly disturbed yet a bit interested. Jude shoved Mason out of the chair and continued reading as Tommy looked at Patsy, his face pale.

"What the hell is that!" He asked, his voice sounding strained.

"Welcome to Fanfiction." Mason said from his seat on the floor. "Jommy is hot!" He added. A moment later, Jude nodded in agreement.

"Damn, this is hot!" She said, her eyes never leaving the screen. She looked away for a moment and stared into Tommy's eyes. "We should go to Vegas." She said, matter-of-factly. Tommy looked slightly horrified yet intrigued at the thought. Before anymore else could be said, the doors to the studio burst open and Speed, Kyle, Wally, and three petite women walked in with them that were unknown to the rest of the group. The group walked over, trying to see what they were up to.

"Hey! That's my story!" The curly haired brunette said, looking proud. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to look at the 5 foot girl.

"What?" She asked, looking all too innocent for her writings.

"Do you have more?" Jude asked, looking hopeful.

"I practically have a whole forum of it…" She said, taking the mouse from Jude and directing her to the stories. Jude continued to read in interest, every once in a while squeaking, giggling, and fanning herself.

"Who are you guys?" Mason asked.

"We are…" The straight haired brunette said, pausing for dramatic effect. "Death!" She said, before laughing. Wally smiled at her.

"I love you."

"You better." She said, glaring at him.

"Again…who are you?"

"Again, Death." The smut writer added, looking serious.

"Ignore them. I'm Melissa, this is Destany and this is Hope, we were forced to pick up our loser boyfriends from the mall."

"HEY!" SME protested. Tommy, who had began reading over Jude's shoulder, turned and looked at Hope (RB).

"How old are you?" He asked. Hope smirked proudly.

"19." She answered. "But old for my age." She said, singing from Rent. Speed walked up behind his girlfriend and clamped his hands over her mouth. Hope looked annoyed.

"Stop it, please. You're killing us." Speed said, his tone loving but amused.

"Take this." Came Hope's muffled voice and did something no one could see but it seemed to gross out Speed enough to make him leap from the girl.

"Grow up." Destany said, rolling her eyes. Hope looked sadly over at her boyfriend.

"I thought you liked that?"

"Not now!" Speed scolded.

"Stop! Stop! Too much information!" Destany yelled.

"Oh please…like you don't already know." Hope stated, rolling her eyes. Mason, from his spot on the floor.

"I like you guys."

"Hey, where's Melissa and Kyle go?" Patsy asked, looking around the room. Everyone looked up (except Jude) to see where they had gone off to.

"Apparently, we don't want to know." Destany added, and clamped her hands together and grinned.

"So…what's up?"

"I just introduced Jude to smut fanfics." Mason said, looking proud. Destany and Hope gave him a thumbs up.

"Good Job! You get a cookie later." They said in unison.

"With M & Ms!" Mason said/exclaimed in happiness.

"Why not." Destany said, and Mason looked elated. Destany shrugged and Hope went over to read what Jude was currently reading.

"Oh, that's a good one." Hope said, grinning. "You know that song by Nickleback?" She asked.

"Oh! I love that fic!" Destany said, looking excited. Jude turned around.

"Is it good?" She asked.

"Mmmm-hhhhmmm. Let's just say it involves Tommy, the hummer, and lots and lots of Smut on your part." Jude looked happy and Tommy paled.

"Oh no! DO you know how hard that stuff is to clean up!" He exclaimed, wondering if this day could get any worst. And of course, it can, and it's going to.

* * *

Authors laugh in unison. If you guys couldn't figure out: Destany is Me, Hope is RB 


	7. The Thing From Uranus

**Plot Bunnies  
Chapter 7  
Sometime…Later…**

"…making me feel frisky…" Jude's voice was uber dramatic as she read off of the computer screen,

"Oohh Quincy, I had no idea!"

"Jude…not everything you read is true…" Jude's eyes flicked downward and she smirked. "Right Quincy." She replied, "Keep telling yourself that…"

"I AM THE THING FROM URANUS!" Spiedermen ran into the room, yelling.

"Well, aren't you special?" Tommy drawled.

"Whad up, bitches?" He asked, collapsing in a chair beside them.

"I am not your bitch." Jude and Tommy said in unison.

"You keep telling yourself that." Speed replied, taking a page from their book.

"Speed!" Hope yelled as she entered the room, "Are you cheating on me!"

"Never, schnookums!" Speed cried dramatically, jumping up from his chair and into her arms, "I Lobe You, so, so dearly!" Tommy and Jude exchanged frightened looks. Speed's declaration wasn't what was scaring them, it was the fact that Hope could hold him in her arms. Hope sighed and carried him out of the room.

"Yikes." Jude said, shaking her head.

"Tell me about it!" Then the rest of the idiot brigade barraged in.

Tommy and Jude found themselves wishing they had left the room a while ago and locked themselves in his office. The door flew open and hit Wally in the face. Destany looked panicked.

"SHIT! I DID IT AGAIN!" she crouched down beside her boyfriend and touched his cheek gently,

"Are you okay?"

"I'd be better with some ice…" Destany grinned wickedly.

"Don't worry, nurse Destany will help you." Then she carried Wally out of the room.

"What's with all the girl's and the uber upper body strength?" Jude wondered.

"It's Destany's steroid drops." Melissa replied, her hand entangled with Kyle's, "No worries. To date SME, you must have enough strength to carry you men!" A loud, horrified scream had everyone on their feet and running to the common area.

Destany, Hope, Wally, and Speed were open-mouthed gaping at Darius, who was walking through G Major, the blond wig on his head, lipstick smeared from his lips. In 2.5 second, Destany burst out laughing and turned to Hope, punching her in the arm.

"I so told you!" she cried,

"Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew."

"Everyone to the bathroom!" Speed yelled.

"Don't you mean the batcave?" Jamie asked.

"No, I mean the bathroom!" Speed cried, running, "Group VOMIT!"


	8. Latem Bar

We give all credit to the Latem bar to our friend, Ert.

**Chapter 8**

"A-rite" Darius's booming voice came. "Who wants dinner?" Destany and Hope glanced at each other in horror.

"I wouldn't do that." Destany said, looking sick. Hope nodded in agreement and Darius looked annoyed.

"Who are they?" He asked, pointing at Destany and Hope.

"Speed and Wally's girlfriends." Kwest answered, looking like he was hiding a smirk. Speed and Wally wrapped their arms around their respective girl and looked proudly at them.

"Whatever. Dinner. My Treat. Who's coming?" Darius asked as Liam walked up behind him. The group shuddered collectively but they weren't a group to turn down free dinner.

"Where we going?" Jude asked, looking intrigued.

"Latem Bar." Darius stated, looking eager.

"Um…D?" Tommy said, looking confused.

"yes T?"

"We have minors among us. We can't go to a bar."

"It's a bar/restaurant. Half of it's a bar/club, the other half a nice wholesome restaurant." Liam said, looking smug. Tommy rolled his eyes and the group shrugged.

"Why not." Everyone said in agreement.

**xxxxxLatem Barxxxxx**

At the restaurant, everyone was seated around the rectangular table. At the head of the table was Darius and off to the right of him went Liam, Mason, Wally, Destany, Patsy, and Jamie. To Darius's left were Kwest, Sadie, Speed, Hope, Tommy, and Jude.

"Hey, where'd Kyle and Melissa run off to?" Speed asked, realizing he was missing a band mate.

"Do you really have to ask?" Destany stated, rolling her eyes.

"Speed's a bit slow." Jude said, piping into the conversation.

"No shit!" Hope said looking exasperated.

"HEY!" Speed protested.

"I really didn't want to know that." Tommy muttered, looking ill and eyed Patsy as she stared at the crackers on the table. Patsy looked up and met Tommy's eyes. They both glared at each other, daring the other to make the first move.

"You're on Pretty boy!" Patsy said, reaching her hand out to grab the crackers but Tommy was faster and snatched them from the table. Tommy looked pleased and smirked at Patsy as she glared menacingly. Patsy huffed and pulled out her fork, staring at Tommy with wild eyes.

"You sure you want those?"

"Yup." Tommy said, not looking fazed, and eyed the butter.

"Tommy!"

"What!" Tommy said exasperated as Jude broke his concentration.

"You're what? A billionaire three times over and you're stealing free food?"

"So?" Destany shifted her eyes and reached across and snatched the ketchup bottle while no one was looking and shoved it in her deep coat pockets.

"Hey!" Patsy said, glaring at Destany.

"What?" Destany asked, looking innocent.

"I saw that!"

"Saw what?" Wally said, putting an arm around his girlfriend. Hope, not to be outdone by her best friend, reached across to steal the salt shaker, but Tommy slapped her hand with a glare. But Hope ignored him and stuffed it down her shirt.

Tommy looked at her with a worried/scared look. Hope winked at him and then turned to her boyfriend, who had the pepper shaker and was pocketing it, literally. Hope burst into giggles and Jude sighed, in fear and emptiness. She hadn't pocketed anything yet. She looked to the left, then the right, and grabbed a handful of sugar packets. Patsy smacked her hand, causing her to drop a few.

"Don't be hitting my girl!" Tommy yelled in her defence. Patsy just rolled her eyes.

"I wanted those!" Patsy protested, picking up the packets Jude dropped. Jamie sighed and reached over and took the packets from her and gave them to jude.

"Jim-bone! You disappoint!"

"She doesn't need any more sugar." Jamie stated, giving Jude a wink and Jude grinned happily at them.

"Would you like another bread basket?" The waiter asked stopping at the table.

"YES!" The group yelled in unison. The waiter looked taken-aback but left hurriedly for the bread basket.

"AND MORE BUTTER!" Patsy yelled after for good measure, eyeing the container of honey that was still left on the table. Tommy was also eyeing the honey container and both of them reached out and grabbed them at the same time.

"Back off Dance Boy!" Patsy said, glaring.

"Nope." Tommy said and they continued glaring.

"Guys, guys!" Wally spoke up. They both glanced at Wally but didn't let the honey container out of their sights either.

"There's only one way to settle this." He finished.

"Rock. Paper. Scissors." Destany finished, looking dead serious. Tommy and Patsy glanced at each other and shrugged.

"Best two out of three." Speed said, looking intrigued.

"Four out of ten." Patsy said.

"What!" The group said, looking confused and Patsy took the moment to steal the honey container.

"Suckers." She said, grinning happily and shoving it in her purse.

The night continued on like this until there was nothing left on the table. Darius had stolen the table cloth even, much to Liam's dismay. As the group filed out of the Latem bar, Wally and Destany stopped to kiss. As they were kissing, Destany heard an all too familiar sound of a click by her ear. Destany sighed and pulled back from Wally and turned around to look at Chucky, the hitman, in annoyance.

"Chucky! Can't you see I'm busy?" Destany yelled.

"It's Chuck. Not Chucky." Chucky said.

"Yeah, but Chuck sounds to much like Up-Chuck, so it's Chucky." Destany said and added "I mean, you don't want me to be thinking of vomit whenever I see ya." She said winking.

"Hey Chuck." Wally said, looking slightly annoyed. The guys did a complicated handshake.

"So, what's it this time? I mean, I finished Tragedy, I beta-ed Hope's challenge…what more does she want from me?"

"You had said something about an update to Instant Reality yesterday." Chucky said, looking glum.

"Ya know…just when I get a life…"

"I'll be sure to voice your complaints to Miss Linde."

"You do that." Destany said sighing.

"Come on. Let's go find a computer." Destany said, walking off with Wally and Chucky behind her.

* * *

**Destany's Note**: Chucky is my former hitman who used to force me to update when I slacked a bit. I now suspect he's going to resurrect after this is done...though he's a nice hitman. He use to give me flowers. :D 

Also Note: this is the last chapter to "Plot Bunnies". The second part will be posted later this weekend. I hope you guys enjoyed some of the insanity, and be on the lookout for Plot Bunnies Rides Again!


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